How do we fall
by rhea-elizabeth
Summary: Cora Crawley deals with her own part of WWI aftermath; she strives to reestablish an intimate relationship with her husband. But what happens when Robert's faux pas the night of the Spanish influenza is discovered?


**This story is set during the last episode of the second series. It is mainly centered on Cora and Robert Crawley, but includes other characters as well. Thanks to AugustHope for helping me out. Neither Downton Abbey, nor any of the characters belong to me. **

Cora revived to the light knock on the door, and her eyes fluttered open to greet their surroundings. She tried to stretch her indolent limbs, which didn't seem to respond to her will. After another failed attempt to rise on her forearms, she then settled to lean against an upright pillow. 'Come in,' she breathed, and took a hand to her pained throat.

The other person must have heard, or decided to come in nonetheless, because the door opened and the maid entered the room in her usual fashion, her shoulders bent down, carrying some fresh towels and linens. 'I thought you might want a bath, m'lady,' she explained and threw a furtive glance to her mistress. 'Dr. Clarkson said that should be fine, as long as I wrap you under some warm blankets afterwards.'

'Thank you, O'Brien,' she responded, 'that was very thoughtful.' Her ladyship tried and formed an easy smile, which transmitted all her appreciation. She brought up her hand, and willed her torso to be also brought up and reach for O'Brien's offered assistance. Her body complied, but her head struck a pound. She found it bearable, but it reminded Cora of her previous state, the fire that consumed her, and brought fog to her consciousness. She gasped for air, and tried to dismiss that sensation.

O'Brien helped her walk to the bathroom, strip herself naked and meet the steaming bath she had drawn for her beforehand. She handed her ladyship the soap before quickly dismissing herself.

Cora laid back to the flat surface of the bath with caution, her head jerking backwards and her eyes contemplating the intricate ceiling above her head. She spent some idle minutes in that position until her ears tingled. She then reached for the soap and passed it up and down her body several times, first her arms, and then legs.

There was a light pair of footsteps behind the door that captivated her attention, and some moments later, her favorite sound rang from the other side.

Cora turned her head towards it, and she felt it brush away all her troubles better than any miraculous pill.

'Mama, may I come in?' Her voice was calm and soothing.

'Of course, Sybil darling.' She responded.

Sybil showed her heart shaped faced, and peeked timidly inside the threshold. At the sight of her mother, the corners of her mouth quirked upward. She then quietly stepped inside the bathroom, and held her back to the door like when she was a little girl.

'Oh, I'm glad to see you well again.' She said.

Cora looked at her daughter and her eyes glistened with plain adoration, 'I am much better, and that's also thanks to you, my dear.'

'Oh,' she blushed. 'O'Brien's the one you should thank. She took charge of you without hesitation, while we were still shocked.'

Cora recalled the permanent hands that took her temperature, cooled her forehead and held her when she had to release the bile that her stomach brought to her mouth. She had rambled and thanked O'Brien then, and repeated it in an almost childish manner— but she would do it properly when she saw the maid again.

Meanwhile, Sybil continued, '…and she refused to leave your side. I think she hasn't had much sleep for the last couple of days, so let me dismiss her, and help you with the rest.'

'Quite right, darling,' she sighed. 'She has done far enough already.'

Sybil nodded and left the room. Behind the closed door, her voice dismissed O'Brien and reassured her that she would take good care of her mother from now on.

Cora produced a faint smile upon hearing that. She willed herself to get up, and grasped the brink of the tub for support.

And then, it hit her—the gush of wind that brought Sybil in, curled up her skin and brought that ominous sensation once again. She leaned in on Sybil for support, and took in the tenderness of her blue eyes and hands as she wrapped a towel around her shoulders, but that fear still pounded at the back of her head and made her blood run cold.

Sybil directed a faint smile at her mother. 'Isn't this reversal of roles nice?' she said, and helped Cora into her bedroom, put on a warm night shirt, and hide under numerous blankets. She then pressed a kiss on her hairline, and slightly bit her lip. 'Are you comfortable?'

Cora settled against the soft pillows and peered at Sybil for a moment, 'You needn't do that. There's no reason to be nervous.'

She nodded, rearranging the pillow at the foot of the bed, 'It's one of those things. I suppose I caught it during the war.'

Cora sighed, none too pleased with her daughter's last comment. 'Have you seen your father?'

Sybil sat next to her on the bed, but her eyes were far away. 'I've seen him, but he doesn't seem to talk much to me, anyway.'

Cora nudged her further. 'How is he?'

'I wouldn't know what to expect after last night. He was beside himself. He's spent the morning locked up in the library.'

Cora stood for a moment, her hands entwined with her daughter's, and finally settled with the question she had intended to ask, 'What about you? Are you happy, Sybil?'

She searched inside her mother's eyes, and then answered with a firm but gentle voice. 'Yes, Mama—I'm very happy with my decision. And even though I know what Papa and Granny think about it, I want to hear your opinion.'

Cora blushed, and she pressed Sybil's hand. 'I only want what's best for you.' Her curved lashes battered against her eyelids and she muttered, 'I am very proud of you, Sybil, and you know that, right?'

'Of course,' she said, and showed a halfhearted smile. 'And that's the reason I must tell you something.' She took a deep breath. 'Mary and Edith did know what went on, because—they discovered I had eloped with Tom, found me and talked me out of it.'

Cora glared at her with protuberant eyes, 'I'm glad they did,' she said after some time and then barely let out, 'so when do you plan on leaving?'

'A day or two after Lavinia's funeral,' she explained, 'we want to pay our respects to Matthew.'

'I see,' Cora shuddered, despite the feathered comforter, at the thought of that poor young woman who had struggled with her own ordeals, and been defeated. 'Do you need money for the road?'

'No,' Sybil shook her head, 'Tom has gathered some aside for the travel, and then enough to get us settled. Besides I don't want you to work behind Papa's back.'

Cora chuckled, but her eyes went barren. 'It wouldn't be the first time,' and she took Sybil's hand in hers. 'No, your father's worried just as I am. He feels helpless, and that stirs his anger.' She pushed some hair from her daughter's eyes. 'I know him. He thinks his whole life is slipping away from his grasp, and he can't control it. He's been like that since the war.'

Sybil sensed her mother's tenseness, and patted her shoulder. 'Mama—is there something the matter with you two?'

'No, well we just— have been so very distant for quite some time.' She scratched the palm of her hand. 'And I suppose I'm to blame—'

'No one is to blame.' Sybil rubbed her back gently. 'Why, when the war started we all felt so impotent, and then with the convalescent home—we didn't have time to think about anything.' She almost whispered to her mother, 'But that is all gone, and you'll have more time to figure things out.'

Cora felt as if someone had grabbed her by the throat, but thanked her genuine words nonetheless.

Sybil snuggled her head on her lap, and threw her arms around her waist, 'Oh, Mama—I believe you will find each other again, because I have witnessed you for years. No other couple adores and relies on each other like my parents.' And then she looked up, and started to giggle. 'I hope—I hope your grandchildren say the same for me and Tom after twenty-five years of marriage.'

'Oh, Sybil,' Cora laughed absentmindedly, 'you must find your own path.' She composed herself for a minute and continued, 'I fear you will find it difficult at first, my darling.'

'I know,' she complied, 'I know and I don't mind. I don't mind living with his mother, or struggling with money at first. Because I believe we will make it through,' she pressed her mother's hand, 'just as you and Papa will.'

'Oh, my dear,' Cora barely managed to whisper, while she stood witness to her beautiful grown up daughter. 'I believe so, too.'

Sybil didn't bother to go downstairs or change out of her nurse uniform, and spent the rest of the afternoon with her mother. She later rung for both of their dinners, and as they ate and chatted about mundane things, like her travel and what she ought to pack with her to Ireland, Cora almost forgot about what had happened that fortnight. But then she was sure to be reminded when Mary and Edith walked in both dressed in black gowns and gloves, with pale expressions, strained eyes and furtive glances in their mother's direction.

It pained Cora to look at them in such condition, and she shuddered at the thought of their black images in front of her lifeless body.

Before she dismissed them, she made sure to persuade them to have an early night of rest. Edith enquired as to whether she needed her to stay, but Cora insisted she felt fine, and that she would be alright on her own for some time. She watched Mary take her leave and she bid the others goodnight as they followed their sister.

~oOo~

Cora lay in bed with her arms crossed over her stomach. Her eyes had begun to strain and her hair struck out of the braid, making her uncomfortable. She was about to rise and look for the comb when she heard slow footsteps behind the door. Cora straightened her back, and settled her hair against her face with her fingers. She heard the rustle of his coattails, and then saw the door open and Robert appear.

He paused for a moment, looked around the room and then found her eyes. 'How are you feeling?' he let out, and grabbed the chair beside her bed somewhat with a gruff manner.

Cora was taken aback, but nonetheless she said, 'Much better now, even though, I imagine, I do not offer a better sight,' and chuckled.

His previous attitude fell, and he regained his composure. 'It is a sight to gladden my heart.' There were hints of mirth on his face.

'Is it?' She furrowed her eyebrows and formed a pained smile. 'I hope it is.'

'You gave us quite a fright,' he added.

She looked up from her lashes and nodded, 'They told me about Lavinia.'

'The funeral is on Monday.' His complexion darkened and the dread in his voice was mirrored in his eyes.

'I'd like to go,' she breathed, 'if I can.'

He acknowledged it, and stared back at her beaten eyes.

She sighed, and then her hand dropped with a thud for him to take. Her warm gesture lit the grayish aura that had managed to surround them, and it facilitated their reunion.

Robert reached it without hesitation, and his eyes became close and attentive once more.

Her hopes raised, and her mouth quirked upward with a smile that went to her eyes. 'We're alright, aren't we, Robert?'

'Of course we are.' His voice was moist, and he swallowed back.

'Only,' she began, and hoped she wouldn't stutter, 'I know I got so caught up in everything that I think I neglected you, and if I did, I'm sorry.'

He pressed her hand once more, and his lips attempted a smile. 'Don't apologize to me.'

'Oh, but I have to,' she added, and clenched his fingers. 'I was so busy running the convalescent home, and all that while having that stupid quarrel for dominance with cousin Isobel.' Her voice trembled, and she wet her lips. 'And then, when that was all gone, there was the business with Mary and her wedding.'

Robert nodded, but avoided her gaze. He turned to look at their entwined hands, and his mouth twitched.

'Oh, darling,' Cora said, 'I have left you alone, and there's no justification to it,' and she tried to be the object of his attention again, 'but all that's in the past now.'

'Yes,' he said, and took in her disheveled figure, 'and we shall never talk about it again. The important thing is you're alright.'

Cora smiled and she radiated, 'I _am_ alright, because I'm here with you,' she said, 'and our beautiful daughters.'

'Hm, well,' he rose from the chair and left her side to go and face the window. He started gazing at the garden outside, ''Two of them at least,—have you seen Sybil?'

'She came to me this afternoon,' said Cora, 'helped me get settled, and then we had a chat, she and I.' She peered at her husband. 'She's an intelligent, lovely young woman, Robert,' she said in her usual gentle tone, 'and she has made up her mind. She is leaving.'

Her husband jerked his head in disbelief, but then faced unarmed the sight of her dishabille, and swallowed back any bitter response that must have come to mind. 'She has a mind of her own, _that_ she has,' he said, and turned his back on Cora again, 'and stubbornness to last her a lifetime.'

_'That she has taken from her father,' _Cora resolved not to say, and chuckled to herself. Instead she decided to comment, 'But her heart is in a good place, she will do fine in Ireland.'

'Hm,' he argued, 'that doesn't convince me or stop me from worrying.'

'I know, darling,' she tamed her voice, and tried to catch his attention, 'me neither, but whatever the case, nothing will ever keep us from worrying for them.'

She then stretched her arms towards him, and waited for him to take her hands into his own, 'You can't do anything to stop her, Robert,' he complied with her unspoken demand, and Cora hoped their closeness would last. 'At least—please, make sure to make peace with her before she goes.' She fluttered her lashes and her mouth touched his hand briefly.

He was somewhat enthralled, and thus he nodded. Cora blinked back at him, and smiled in effort to present her dimples. Robert was so close she could smell the touch of cologne on his neck and reach for the hem of his shirt. She downcast her eyes in order to lure him in for a kiss, but he managed to break the spell by gently cupping her face.

'It's late, and you're tired,' he said, and brushed a finger on her cheek.

Her shoulders fell back on the pillow, and she remained stunned for a moment.

Meanwhile, Robert formed sentences that meant nothing to her, 'I shall also ring for Thomas. Apparently Bates had some urgent matter to attend to—'

She stood silent and waited for him to say something to confirm her expectations that he would be joining her soon afterwards. But he didn't.

'I'll bid you goodnight, then.' He said unabashed.

'Oh, darling you don't have to,' she managed to mutter. 'I'm perfectly alright, and don't want you another night cramped up in your dressing room.'

'Er, no—no, I don't want to disturb you, at least until you're up and about.' He stroked her hand, and then left her side and bid for the door.

'But, Robert,' Cora's words choked in her throat. She sensed something about him was amiss; and even though she couldn't put her finger on it, she almost thought that she had gone back to that first year she had been married to Viscount Downton, and felt just as unwanted as she had then.

**Please review, and let me know what you think. **


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